Trouble has broken out today in what locals thought was a quiet Wisconsin pond when radicals within the local immigrant community of Muslim ducks struck out against traditional residents. Local resident Judith AppleSwallower told reporters "Well, for me and the kids it was just another quiet day. After school we came to the pond to feed the ducks, as we often do and all seemed quiet. Then suddenly, as we were feeding some of them we noticed an egg drift across the water with what appeared to be explosives strapped around its shell. Before we knew what was happening there was an almigthy bang and, oh, it was just horrible carnage. Feathers everywhere!".
Warning: Graphic Image
Five local ducks were killed in this, the first attack of its kind in Wisconsin.
Local residents had been aware of problems brewing since some ducks from the Middle East had stopped there several years ago during their migration and had decided not to move on. "There's always been some tension" said Wisconsin wildlife warden Jimmy Scrotum, "but we never expected this. We knew that integration had been an issue but none of us believed it would come to this."
The pond, previously a tranquil beauty spot enoyed by families, is now the scence of a police investigation. Forensic experts have been combing the area for evidence of exactly who was behind the attacks. The Wisconsin Duck Appreciation Society will be holding a five minute silence in rememberance of those lost at midday tomorrow.
In a fax to arabic news station al-Jazera, the previously unknown group Batt al-Islamah has claimed responsibility for the attack. Police are said to be following leads.
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