Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Chavez clones Thatcher, uses meat to make Terminator

In exciting South American news today, Venezuelan President Hugo "Eres un burro" Chavez has stepped up his efforts to gain power against the United States by pitting one of their all time greatest allies against them - none other than ex-British PM Margaret Thatcher!

Pictured right, President "What oil money?" Chavez is seen at the unveiling of the new T-10 Terminator, made by placing the skin and meaty bits from a clone of the ex-PM onto a hardened alloy combat chassis. In a speech given at the unveiling, "I Love Tehran" Chavez revealed "They used to call her the iron lady and she was their greatest friend. Now she is more than iron – now she is an enhanced poly-alloy lady and she is programmed to kill Bush. And she will never, ever stop. Ever!"

The T-10, seen with Kalashnikov assault rifle, is rumoured to be able withstand bullet fire, although it will take damage to its flesh and blood Maggie skin. Despite the fact that it is based on British ex-PM Margaret Thatcher, the cyborg currently speaks with a thick Austrian accent. Engineers are working to correct this fault.

"We will build thousands of these", claimed 'I can’t believe it’s not embezzlement' Chavez, "They will all be controlled by a central artificial intelligence we are developing called Chavnet and they will all be programmed to kill Bush."

International observers remained unconvinced that the Thatcherborgs will represent a serious threat to the life of the US President. "I doubt this will be a competent effort" said Washington security thinktank member, Susan Zuccini, "After all, look at how badly he has managed the oil."

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