Friday, October 26, 2007

Christianity Explained

(Text copied from this amusing image)

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that's present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Unrelated video

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Doctor Smoke said...

I agree whole-heartedly, my good man.
Cool video, too. very brain-imploding.

Rhology said...

Obviously it's pejorative, yeah, but I'd agree with all in that definition except the following 3 things:

1) Jewish Zombie. Christ was resurrected to a glorified body, not a zombified body. There's a significant difference.

2) was his own father. This might be a good criticism of, say, Oneness Pentecostalism, but not orthodox Christianity. Christianity is Trinitarian, so this description doesn't work.

3) minor point - magical tree. Depends on what you mean by "magical", but magical and supernatural are 2 different things. The former is a subset of the latter.


Anonymous said...

What an amazing video! I'm glad I stopped by to find this.

Existentialist said...


These are your words, "They ignore fact to support it. They champion ignorance to defend it."

How are you any better than Christians by ignoring what they believe and championing ignorance to defend your ignorance?

It's exactly because atheists like you that Christians won't take us seriously. If someone were to say to you, "Since you believe there is no God, that must mean you are amoral," I'd bet you'd get pretty riled up and call it bunk because they misrepresented your beliefs. The same thing happens when you write what you just did.

If you want to effectively remove faith from Christians, you need to battle them in their own territory, not some territory which you make up on the spot and say is their's.

chooseDoubt said...


Are you suggesting that part of the statement is false or that I must mindlessly repeat their absurd fiction in all of it's variously absurd interpretations in order to dismiss it?

Their fish is not much of a catch. I'll leave bragging about how big it is to them. I believe they call the practice apologetics.

Belba said...

Choosedoubt is not ignoring fact by ignoring christian beliefs; their beliefs are not facts. Ze does not champion ignorance, but champions thinking-- actually thinking, not believing for believing's sake-- and as ze says, is no apologist.

Some christians are trinitarian, many are not, and many trinitarians take father/son/holyghost to be all one and the same thing, son being his own father and both being a ghost. Most christians I've heard do describe Jesus as god (his father) on earth in human form (the son).

Dr. kold_kadavr_flatliner, MD, the Roamin' Cat said...

We might see those in Heaven, yet, because I was an actual NDE, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven's gonna be like: meet this ex-mortal Upstairs for the most-extra-groovy, pleasure-beyond-measure, UltraYummyRealityAddiction24/7 in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol-fabulous, kick-ass, party-hardy you DO NOT wanna miss. YES! For God, anything and everything and more! is possible!! RSVP? Cya soon.