If you have ever thought about how it would be to suddenly find yourself a few hundred years back in time then maybe you have also wondered how much you would respect the people around you, their convictions, their beliefs and their behaviours. This is how I feel everyday. I’m not saying that I know a perfect way to be, because above all I know that everything is pointless and that better and worse are subjective and as meaningless as the suffering we may measure them by (which still we do not). I’m only saying that I recognise everything around me to be stupid. It pisses me off to think that I live amongst witch doctors and warlocks and the thronging masses of retards that think this is truth.
As far as I can see we live in a world full of clueless idiots, and I count myself amongst them with no pride nor feeling of compatriotism. Even the wise are disabled by their education as morons within their moronic cultures. “I’m so proud to be Catalan, or African, or English, or Christian or just plain fucking stupid and preoccupied with meaningless meaning and insignificant significance” - I fucking hate it all, the drain on my time and energy, and I just want to be free.
But what is freedom?
To me it is telling my boss to go fuck his father in the ear and saying good bye to all the constraints of companionship, familiarity and responsibility that my loyalty currently binds me to. And I am bound only through choice, only through my understanding and appreciation of the shock it would cause to those to whom I wish no harm if I lived as I want to. Life is the credit card with the unknown limit and the unknown expiration date. I wish to spend it, not cautiously but wildly until it runs dry and collection day is here. I fucking hate this waiting, pretending that something meaningful is happening when really all that is happening is that the unknown date on that card is drawing closers every second. I want to throw it all away, jump on a plane and start off again back in India and then wherever I go from there. I know my life means nothing and so I want to live it in a way that means something to me. I want to live it in a way that keeps me interested, even if fearfully so, of what happens next. I am tired of living in the past, remembering to fear the future as I was taught.
If you enjoyed this article please feel free to digg it down below.